Bethesda Evangelical Lutheran Church
Wedding Guidelines
Guidelines for a Marriage Service at
Bethesda Evangelical Lutheran Church
Lutheran Christians understand marriage in two ways. On the one hand, marriage is God’s gift. God intends to bring strength and joy to those who enter into marriage, and, through marriage, to promote the well-being of the whole human family. On the other hand, marriage is a human estate. Two people make vows to each other, which are publicly witnessed, and society recognizes their status as legally married.
Beyond this legal aspect the order for worship focuses on the promise of marriage as a gift and calling from God. As such, the Christian assembly surrounds those who enter into this human estate with the gifts of the presence and support of the Christian community, the promise of God’s Word proclaimed from Holy scripture, and prayers of blessing and intercession. Here, baptismal equality and dignity are honored, and God’s love and faithfulness are emphasized rather than that of the bride and groom.
In order to support each couple as they enter into these promises, and to maintain the dignity of the rite, Bethesda Evangelical Lutheran Church has established the following guidelines.
THE ROLE OF THE PASTOR
The pastor and congregation surround the couple and their marriage with continuing prayers and support. Normally, at least one person in the marriage partnership is a member in good standing of Bethesda Evangelical Lutheran Church. When this is not the case, each request for marriage is to be determined individually by the pastor and/or council as appropriate.
The pastor serves as a companion and counselor to the bride and groom as they plan their wedding and contemplate the joys of Christian marriage, and throughout their married life. Therefore, couples must participate in pre-marital counseling and wedding planning as arranged in consultation with the pastor. The first of these sessions should occur ideally as soon as possible and preferably no later than six months before the date of the wedding.
The pastor serves both as an officer of the state and an officer of the church. In accordance with the laws of the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania, no marriage will take place without a county issued marriage license. In accordance with the pastor’s responsibility to the Word of God, no marriage will take place that the
Scriptures.
The pastor of Bethesda Evangelical Lutheran Church officiates at the marriage service. Any other officiant or participating clergy serves at the invitation of the pastor. Such requests should be made by the couple at the first counseling session. If either member of the couple is from another congregation, it is courteous to notify that pastor of the upcoming marriage. In this way, the other pastor can know what is taking place in the membership of the congregation.
It is unlawful for the pastor to conduct a marriage service when either the bride and/or groom are visibly intoxicated.
THE ROLE OF THE CHURCH MUSICIAN
The church musician is responsible for the ministry of music at Bethesda Evangelical Lutheran Church. The church musician will ensure that all music is in fitting with the religious character of the marriage service. To this end, the couple is expected to meet with the church musician for an initial consultation at least three months prior to the date of the ceremony.
The church musician is a steward of the rich and varied heritage of music that the church possesses. The church musician serves as a resource to couples in their planning and will suggest appropriate music at the time of the consultation. All music must be approved by the church musician and will be judged by the following standards: Only Vocal music that contains words that witness to God’s love and faithfulness and our stance before God as God’s children may be used.
Instrumental music will be judged according to its source. Music known primarily for the words or context (popular music) is not to be used as instrumental music if the words do not conform to the above criteria.
Recordings of music are not acceptable as they are not in keeping with the participatory nature of a worship service.
Music requested by the bridal couple and approved by the church musician that is not in the musician’s files will be purchased by the couple (not copied) either directly or through arrangements with the organist to be reimbursed. In such cases, the music must be provided at least two months in advance of the wedding to allow sufficient time for preparation. After the wedding, the music becomes part of the church musician’s files.
The church musician is responsible for care of the instruments and integrity of music at Bethesda Evangelical Lutheran Church. As such, the church musician will be the primary musician at the marriage service. If the couple wishes to use additional guest musicians that wish must be expressed to the church musician at the first consultation. The decision to invite guest musicians and their role in the service will be made in
church musician and the pastor in consideration of the following criteria:
A. Guest musicians are to be of a competent nature as determined by the church musician.
B. Other organists may be used only with permission of the church musician.
C. All musical selections by soloists and instrumentalists must be determined by the same criteria listed above. If needed for the musical work of the organist and instrumentalist/vocalist, the appropriate number of copies for all music must be purchased (not copied) in compliance with copyright law.
D. Rehearsal times involving guest musicians must be cleared through the church office and personally through the church musician’s schedule.
E. Guest musicians are to rehearse with the church musician at the time of the Wedding Rehearsal. The organist must be given copies of the music they will play at least two weeks in advance of the rehearsal date.
USE OF THE BUILDING
The church building is first and foremost a place of worship, as is the marriage service first and foremost a service of worship. Therefore, the marriage party is asked to treat both with the reverence and dignity due each. The following guidelines have been set forth to this end:
All details pertaining to the marriage service are to be determined in consultation with the pastor. In all cases, the suggestions and rubrics of Evangelical Lutheran Worship will be considered as guidelines for the service.
Alcoholic beverages are not permitted inside the building or on church grounds.
Smoking and vaping will be permitted only in the designated, outside area.
The dates and times for the marriage service and rehearsal must be cleared through the church office on the church calendar. Because of the solemn nature of the Lenten season (the forty days preceding Holy Week), weddings are strongly discouraged during this time in the church year. No weddings will be celebrated during Holy Week.
5. All pictures and video recordings are to be taken discretely, under the following guidelines:
A. No flash or external lighting is permitted during the service of worship (beginning with the invocation, immediately following the procession, and ending with the introduction of the married couple as husband and wife, preceding the recessional).
B. All professional photography must be accomplished from a stationary location, determined in consultation with the pastor.
C. A maximum of two cameras may be placed, one in the rear of the sanctuary, and the other in a location designated by the pastor in the chancel.
D. All other photography must conform to the above guidelines and be done discreetly from within the pews in a way that does not interfere with the service of worship.
As a part of our shared stewardship for all of God’s creation, no balloons are to be released and no confetti, rice, or birdseed is to be thrown.
Live flowers for the altar must be provided by the couple, and must be removed after the ceremony. If the flowers do not fit in the church’s vase liners, the couple must provide suitable vases.
A crash is permitted to be placed in the center aisle and provided by the couple.
If flower petals are desired to be used, the pastor must be notified when planning the service, and fees will be adjusted accordingly.
Pew torches are available for use if so desired. Because of the extra care and preparation that goes into the use of pew torches, the couple must express this desire to the pastor no later than the second counseling session, and fees will be adjusted accordingly.
Any additional time for decorating must be arranged through the church office. The use of pins, staples, or other sharp objects on the pews or other church furnishings is strictly prohibited.
If so desired, the church secretary will prepare bulletins for the service. Such bulletins will be prepared in a similar fashion to our Sunday morning bulletins, unless special paper, or bulletin covers, are provided. For non-members, fees will be adjusted accordingly. You may also arrange to have the bulletin printed professionally. In either case, the contents of the bulletin must be submitted to and approved by the pastor prior to printing (absolutely no later than at least one week in advance of the wedding service).
FEES AND TIMELINES
1. The church will be open to the wedding party one- and one-half hours prior to the time the wedding service begins. If additional time is desired, arrangements should be made in consultation with the pastor and church office as soon as possible to ensure availability.
2. The following spaces are available in the church for the wedding party to use for preparation and dressing as desired: the classroom on the lower level, the women’s restroom on the lower level, and the social hall itself.
3. All fees are due at the time of the wedding rehearsal. The following fees apply:
A. Member Fees:
1. Church Musician:
i. $100 (including consultation, wedding rehearsal, & wedding service).
ii. $40 for each hour of additional consultation and/or special practice with instrumentalists and/or vocalists.
2. Custodian:
i. $75 for clean-up following the wedding.
ii. $50 for additional clean up if flower petals are scattered in the aisle.
iii. $40 for additional setup and takedown if pew torches are used.
3. Building:
i. $200 refundable deposit (in case of damage to building, property and/or a failure to clean up excessive litter or decorations, as deemed by custodian in consultation with pastor and the church council).
4. Pastor:
i. $200 (including counseling, wedding rehearsal, & wedding service).
5. Church Secretary:
i. $40 for preparations if wedding bulletins are printed through the church.
B. Non-Member Fees:
1. Church Musician:
i. $200 (including consultation, wedding rehearsal, & wedding service).
ii. $50 for each hour of additional consultation and/or special practice with instrumentalists and/or vocalists.
2. Custodian:
i. $100 for clean-up following the wedding.
ii. $75 for additional clean up if flower petals are scattered in the aisle.
iii. $50 for additional setup and takedown if pew torches are used.
3. Pastor:
i. $300 (including counseling, wedding rehearsal, & wedding service).
4. Church Secretary:
i. $100 for preparations if wedding bulletins are printed through the church.
5. Building:
i. $200 for building use (including wedding rehearsal & wedding service).
ii. $50 for use of pew torches (only if used).
ii. $200 refundable deposit (in case of damage to building, property and/or a failure to clean up excessive litter or decorations, as deemed by custodian).
*In the circumstance of another Lutheran pastor having made prior arrangements to use the church on a case-by-case basis, nonmember fees are subject to being waived, entirely or in part, when said pastor is invited as the sole officiant at the discretion of Bethesda’s pastor.